And I Look At Myself

And I look at myself
through shattered glass
and I see the broken pieces
of the person I was

because all that's left of me
are memories of a heart
that held a life once in it
and ended before it could start

and then I close my eyes
so my tears won't fall
because when it mattered
I couldn't help a shattered soul

it doesn't take a near-death experience
for someone to realize
to doesn't take much to see
their life flash before their eyes

and I was surprised at how easily
I could remember some things
that I thought I had forgotten
and a certain memory stings

my eyes, my heart, and soul
and opens a wound so deep
that I have tried so hard to heal
as I lay me down to sleep

and my mind wanders
back to that day
when I threw everything behind my back
and turned and walked away

nothing hurts deeper
than realizing that you lost
because one day you hurt
those you love the most

and then run back in sorrow
to apologize for what's been done
only to find out that all of them
have since long been away and gone

it takes a lifetime to build up trust
and only suspicion to destroy
what has been worked on for so long
discarded like a broken toy

and I look back at myself
through a mirror that is broken
and see all the sorrow in my heart
that was left unspoken

forgive my guilt, for I've been wrong
and I have to carry my sorrow
and this is how I have to live
for all todays and tomorrows

I've been looking at broken glass for so long now
that broken is all I see
even as I look through intact mirrors
shattered is what I'll be

(C) Nouna
WRITTEN: Saturday, February 4, 2006
10:28 pm