Questions (Gay Poem)

This poem is dedicated to my friend Ryan whose best friend came out of the closet and admitted his feelings towards him. Ryan still doesn\'t know what to do or say. Hopefully he will make the right desicion. This is Ryan\'s POV.

~*~Questions~*~

We grew up together in a small Indiana Town
You even came with me when we moved around.
We were inseperable, you and I
Our friendship was high enough to touch the sky.

We laughed together, played together, and yes... even cried together
We shared our secrets of things forever
to be needed or to be said
If one of us died, the other would wish to be dead

Not to long ago you admitted to me how you felt
Of wild fantasies of removing my belt
to take me beneath you, to hear me moan
to watch me below as I gasp and groan.

You told me you wanted to touch me, feel me, kiss me
To go beyond what our parents thought should be
To make me feel pleasure in places I thought impossible
To have me see stars and spots, to see the possible

When you told me this, I was very scared
I didn\'t want to get close to how you cared
I ran away from you, afraid of what I had to face
To leave you crying in our secret place

Why did I run? What made me freak out?
All I heard behind me was your shout.
\"Please don\'t run! I love you so much!\"
Onto my heart I couldn\'t help but clutch

I made it home, went to my room, and cried
The feeling in me was that I wanted to die.
But not because I was scared of what to go through
But because I really hurt you.

Later we talked about it, like friends do
And when you cried, I comforted and cooed.
And then you looked up, your eyes like a green sea
You held my cheek, pulled me down, and kissed me.

I have never been kissed by a man before
And when I didn\'t pull away, you came in for more
I felt your tongue across my lips
And felt your hands go around my hips

Yet I pulled away, my body shaking like mad
Because what we just did, was so entirely bad!
Tears come to your eyes, and I felt them in mine
You them tell me, that I taste like a sweet wine

You asked me how I felt. What was my heart saying?
Was this all a game? What was I playing?!
Did I want to continue? To go further with you?
What in the hell am I going to do?!

Do I love you? Do I hate you?
Do I want you? Do I grate you?
Do I need you? Do I seeth at you?
Can I kiss you? Or do I beat you?

With so many questions, how can I tell?
I hope that our friendship doesn\'t go to hell
We can work this out, we can still stay close
But how close do I get, before it gets gross?

Do I love you? Do I hate you?
....can I love you?

Or will we never go threw...?