Remorse for things said, actions done, and for things left unsaid and actions left undone sets in n you pretty fast and with a lot of pain when you lose those who you love.
Your heart is broken and it beats out a fast rhythm as you pray over and over that it's all a lie, that it never really happened, and that your friends are right around the next corner waiting for you.
You mind wanders off into its own dimensions where no one else can see or feel its pain constantly pulsating and causing those terrible headaches.
You try over and over talking to your friends, you family, and those people you feel can guide you to a healthy conscience again, but no matter how hard you try, it doesn't work.
Insomnia sets in on you and you lay awake watching over those family members and close friends you have left to be with.
You have flashes of memories from the past events that fill your heart with joy and happiness, but within the next few minutes you begin to remember those terrible arguments that meant nothing whatsoever and were started over the most petty things.
You feel like you should just give up and give in to the pain that is building up and brewing deep down inside of you.
You try your hardest from earth to tell you loved ones in heaven that you're sorry for the fight, sorry for your own stupidity, the things you did or said that were wrong, the accident, the pain it caused you, the pain it's causing your friends.
You feel as if you're just moments away from giving in and letting the pain eat away at your heart and kill you.
But now you know you can't give up, and you fight these feelings with everything that you've got left because you know it is the only way.
