Nearly Perfect

I'm in my room, lying in bed
My eyes are rolling back in my head.
Tears are streaming down my face,
Makeup smeared all over the place.
I can't even get through one sad tale
Without wanting to scream out, cry or wail.
Out of my mouth comes one quiet squeak
As more and more tears fall down my cheek.
I can see my life, I'm going to fail
So why keep going, why not just bail?
I want to do this now and well
Anything just to end this pure hell.
So I'll take this weapon, a sharp blade or knife
Against my throat and end my life.
I'll take my last breath, scream your name and die.
God only knows you still wouldn't cry.
So I do it, I cut through my own flesh and bleed.
I fall on the ground, scrape the skin off my knees.

But wait, didn't you say this would never work?

You said life would always suck you back in
But it didn't so here i am committing a sin.
I'm almost gone, hanging on by a thread
That's it. Now it's over. I'm gone. I'm dead.
I'm looking up at you from this fiery place
When suddenly I see the look on your face.
Pain anguish, as if you cared
But you wouldn't say, it wasn't dared
Why couldn't you tell me when i was alive?
Before I took this drastic dive.
Then I wake, realizing it was all just a dream.
I should have known you wouldn't actually care about me.