This is interesting. i think that you should make it a little longer to add some more suspense. the twist at the end is good though. nice job

It's pretty good peice, i agree with Poonam about the twist at the end, very well composed. though i feel you could have explored the idea slightly more in depth, but still this peice is good and well written

Interesting, very. I have not ever read a poem that did fantasy. It was a wonderful poem and I enjoyed reading it.

-ifihide

I like reading your poems so much. They're all very good. Keep it up! 5/5

Ravyn