It's been awhile

Do I still love you?
I don't know.
I know I used to.
But do I still have those feelings?

Do I still see you in the same way?
Do I still long to steal your gaze?
Do I still wish to be only yours?
Do I still love you?

It's been awhile
Since I last saw you.
51 days to be exact.
And I really miss you.

I wish that you were here.
I want you with me.
But if you were here,
Would you want me?

I wish a lot.
I have nothing else to do.
It's been awhile since I emailed you.
Do you miss those?

It's been awhile.
Yes it sure has.
And I have one question:
Do you miss me?

I need to know,
So I know whether or not
I've been wasting 119 days
Wishing you were mine.

Yes, that's how long it's been
Since you've been gone.
I saw you one of those days,
And I still wonder if it were all a dream.

Do I still love you?
Do I miss you?
Maybe I don't,
And I miss loving you.

It was a happy time.
I was able to pretend I was loved.
I thought you loved me,
And I realize now that was a joke.

You didn't intend to hurt me,
At least I hope.
But what will I do now,
Since I can't love you anymore?

What will fill the hours?
The empty minutes?
What will I think about in class
When I'm supposed to be working?

Who will I wish to walk through that door,
With a big bouquet of flowers?
Who is going to sweep me off my feet
Every day of my life?

I'm just going to have to get used
To this empty feeling.
To this gaping hole in my heart
Where you once were.