My Madness

Silently the tears fall from my face,
why wont she end this torment,
i want to scream my true feelings,
i cant because then it will break her heart
like she breaks mine
its in hundreds of pieces by now
every one of them pieces
has been chipped away
either by his worthless apologies
or her meaningless shouts

they are pointless to me
they don't know it
i want to lock myself away
and never see day again
i want to be erased from existence
never remembered nor thought of
why was i brought into this life
of misery and despair?

my thoughts haunted by his loving face
his warm eyes and sweet smile
flying through my head
he causes so much pain
yet makes me so happy at the same time
how is it possible for me to feel so helpless
and non existent when i know his feelings
i return them, i know its true
why am i so skeptic?

why is life so complicated?
i want to take the easy option
and slip away from it all
I'm torn between blood and water
i want to run, and keep running
until I'm far away too far to be remembered
where i can escape from existence

my madness is taking over me
I'm drawing in its depth
I'm struggling to escape from myself
how can i escape my life
he is so trusting and sweet
she has loved me forever
I'm not being asked to choose
but i feel I'm forced to decide
which do i love more?
its a hard decision and i know the answer they both want to hear
the pity is they want to hear different things

again I'm suffocating in my on psychotic pain
its killing me to think these horrible thoughts
the bloody tears that still fall silently from my staring eyes
my life has turned and wrong is up and left is north
nothing thats true IA good and lies are spoken to protect
why is it like this?
why has it come to this?
why is my madness still killing me