Within one moment my life has changed forever. Went through the looking glass and became someone I didn't know. Someone I still fail to recognize in the image glaring back at me. I've tried so hard to fit in that I really wonder if this is what I wanted. I feel so scared about the truth and the fact that I've been denying. I refuse to think about the affect this obsession has been having. Because in my mind, all is the same. I don't quite understand how they all notice and I just can't see it. When do I think it'll cross the line? Sometime in the very near future. But then I tell myself I can't do this forever. That living like this is only living for a short time. I'm actually encouraging death to come upon me and take all the pain away. It's that extreme I've always dreamed of but never taken into action. Now at this point of no return I spin around to take one last glance of the girl I'm leaving behind. The girl that I once was. And of course there she stands alone and depressed. Who is this stranger I'm becoming? When will I start to recognize her? Although all I want is to leave behind the lonely pain inside all has changed but the loneliness still lingers. Upon my tongue and on the tips of fingers the loneliness plays a role for it all. It fails to tire out and yet my body fails to keep the strength need to survive. The girl that I once was is no longer the girl that I can be. They all say it's about control anyway. Isn't that just what I'm trying to do; be in control?
