Our Love

by *Mi*Amor*   Feb 12, 2006


Our love shouldnt last for only
an hour,our love should be taller than a tower.our love shouldnt be wrong or right, our love should always be tight.
with our love we should never fight,
heck,i lose my mind when your in my sight.During our love we should always tell the truth,not just over the Phone booth.
you have such a beautiful face,
and I have exquisite taste,our love should be adorable, the cards shouldnt be laid out on the table, our love should have twists and turns, our love should be like a baby fern.growing each and everyday.nothing should ever come between us, during our love, there should not be any fuss.
Our love should be as beautiful as a dove,
nothing is as beautiful as are love.

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by *Mi*Amor*

    How should i put to replace to adorable and table?

  • 18 years ago

    by  tEEo

    Just some constructive criticism; Some of your rhyming words didn't quite feel right, e.g. adorable and table. It has to do with the 1st syllable. There were a few lines that contradicted each other.

    "our love should have twists and turns"

    "during our love, there should not be any fuss."

    I would think people would prefer love to be straightforward, without twist and turns.

    "we should always tell the truth,not just during our youth."

    I would have thought old people were more inclined to telling the truth as opposed to young people. lol

    And well, this line... I must be interpreting it wrong...

    "you have such a beautiful face,
    and its not just bad taste"

    Maybe you should have written

    "and I have exquisite taste."

    Keep writing though! You're only 13 and that's really damn young! I didn't sstart writing poetry until i was 17. You'll be a pro simply in a matter of time.

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