My black hole

I watch the black hole
i want to jump in
every wheres better then this position im in.
i want to scream, cry myself to sleep,
but i was always told not to make a din,
so i lock it all in.
when i try to express it,
it ends in the bin.
is ending the pain such a terrible sin?
you wouldn't know,
sometimes i wish i had a twin,
to take my place,
fill the slot i'm supposed to fill in.
so will i jump or will i stay?
hoping somehow, someday, i'll just fade away?