I worked up the nerve
to return to my past.
I only wanted to see 2 people.
I wanted to leave fast.
Just because I didn't want to see you
You were one of the first people i saw.
I still thought you were perfect.
Again i was in awe.
You walked past me and nodded.
Didn't bother to say hi.
All I wanted was to talk to you.
But you just walked right by.
I thought i could forget you were alive.
Just pretend i didn't care.
But every time i started to relax,
you'd show up right there
Don't ask me how this works.
I put my mask on and i act
But when you walked past me,
the nervousness came back
I finally decided to talk to you.
It was clear you didn't have the guts.
I stared into you brown eyes.
They still made me got nuts
All i wanted was to know why you wouldn't talk to me.
You just walked away
Leaving me to stare
and wish myself away.
3:30 came along
I wondered why you were so blind
Every kiss, hug and tear,
came running across my mind.
You walked past me
I told you to stop and talk to me
You kept trying to walk away.
But i wouldn't leave you be.
You called me crazy,
i showed you my wrist
Your eyes got wide
Mine started to mist.
You said i was stupid for cutting,
i just agreed with your words.
You stared to walk away.
I called your name in hurt.
I told you to say you hated me.
I almost started to cry.
When you said you can't
And walked away without a goodbye.
I had enough.
I couldn't hold back the tears.
I let them flow freely.
The one's I've held back for years.
I watched you walk away.
My will for death grew.
If only i could tell you.
If only you knew
I tried to call you later.
To tell you it was over, you'd won.
All you did was hang up on me.
I was back at square one.
Now I've just got to try to move on.
To forget the one I love
Forget everything You've said
Stop believing your my angel from above.
So as i sit in my crimson pond.
Knowing your the only one who could have saved me from this fate.
I write this final goodbye
knowing it's too late.
You'll never find this note,
But my final farewell i do bid
Falling in love with you,
Well, i wish i never did.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ryan Kuly,
I know you'll never see this poem. And no one you know will either. I just want you to know. I love you with everything I've got and if it would make you happy, I'd pull the trigger so dam fast. *sighs* I love you and you are my world.
