If the corp'rate ladder you want to climb
In the shortest possible stretch of time,
It's not your degree you should count on
As such things don't always promotions spawn,
But, at first, you'll learn to ingratiate,
Brownnose, flatter and adulate,
Curry favor, truckle, suck up and kneel,
And on your coworkers you'll learn to squeal.
Stick your nose deep up the boss's as*
Till you can inhale his fecal mass.
Thus your fellow workers you will surpass,
And move on to boardrooms to join Top Brass.
Learn to look all pompous and confident
And employees' problems to circumvent,
The Almighty Dollar to worship well
And to your stockholders sweet lies to tell.
Learn to take that credit for other's strain
And for your mistakes to apportion blame.
So what if others will suffer pain?
You will make excuses, however lame.
For the business jungle- The Jungle Law-
Like a beast you bite, like a rat you gnaw,
Like a bird you coo, like a bee you hum,
And, sometimes, a hyena you must become.
And, sometimes, you slither just like a snake,
Or you stomp and quack like a marshland drake,
Or you bark, or roar like a feral lion
So to great fortunes you'll be a scion...
Such must be your skills for the Business Sector,
To become a Managing Director,
To command a million dollar bonus,
Be an SOB!-That's your only onus.
