Have You Ever?

Have you ever been so close to getting something you loved so much....but then at the very last second had it go through your fingers like sand? You were so close to getting it....but then all of a sudden it was out of reach? Almost as if you reached for a cup but then your hand seemed to go through it? I have. And it hurts. You have to go through pain to get over it, but it seems to take a life time to get over it. Once you almost had it, but then had it go away, you almost instantly know you will l never have another chance of getting it back again. Or ever getting it for the first time. You will never get that feeling of your stomach tying up in knots the first time. Or ever again. Only that one special person can make your tummy do flips, or make you stutter over your words for no reason, and make you make a fool of yourself trying to make you look cooler than you really are. You will never get a second chance for any of those experiences. For you can only fall in love once...no matter what your friends tell you. If they tell you you can fall in love with 3 totally different people...you know that they are all lies and fantasies that can never happen unless you are some sort of fairy that can make anything happen to you. Have you ever loved somebody so much that it almost turned into hate? I have. I still can see their face, I can still hear the sweet sound of their voice, and the soft touch of their lips and hands. I can still remember the time we watched a movie, cuddled up next to the fire just to stay warm in freezing cold weather. I can still see me running after you after you walked off for no absolute reason. I know you do not know how much I care about you, but I can see it. And I know you will never know that I love you with all the love I have to give. You will never know what goes through my head, and what I tell my friends about you. You will never know what I think about you and what I write about you. You will never hear this poem that I wrote for you just to prove that my love for you is true. Have you ever loved someone that left you? Then all of a sudden walked right into your life again like a raging storm? I have. I can still remember that night that I saw you again. I was so lost for words, but then I started like I have known you a whole lifetime. I can still remember how you stared at me when you talked to me, or stared at me just because there was nothing else to look at or do. I can still remember the tears I shed for you after I had to leave. Have you ever heard a song that reminded you of that one special person? I have. I can remember every single word. And every time that song comes on , I long to be with you forever and ever. I can remember when we were hanging out and our song came one and we both started singing to it, and you kept looking at me looking at you. Have you ever had the news that the one special person broke up with their girlfriend for one of your enemies? I have. I can still remember when my best friend told me. She sat there and watched me cry myself to sleep. We were both speechless. Even though she talked to you and told you that you were making the biggest mistake of your life, you still would not listen. She even let you listen to me cry, and it still did not change your mind. If I could I would slap you across the face as hard as I could and take a knife and slit my wrist so I could stop the pain, but I can't, because my love for you is true and will always stay true till the day that I die. Have you ever been so sad that that one special person could tell even though they weren't around and they called to see if everything was ok? I have. I can still remember the worry in your voice when I picked up the phone. I can still remember you started crying when I told you the news. Have you ever loved someone so much that it almost turned into hate? I have.