Wanna know how I feel
How I really feel
I dunno if I'll ever completely have nothing towards you
Since we met
There's always been something about you
Your demeanor
The way you present yourself
The cute mannerisms you do
The smile you have
The eyes you posses
The way you see ppl and
Interact with them
I liked you for many reasons
But through the hurt I endured
I learned to stop feeling towards you
I learned to close myself off
To stop myself from growing close again
To halt my feelings
In a way, to bring myself to a full stop
Because I've seen what liking you can do to me
I've seen the chaos it brought
The misery it inflicted
The hopelessness and jealousy it sprouted
It's almost a year later now
Yet still I feel the door on us has not closed
I swear I'm over you
But why do I remain so attracted
So drawn
So tempted by you
My attraction to you might not have faded
And this, I can never let you know
If I were to let you know
Our friendship
For all we've fought to piece it back together
Might be broken yet again
Only this time, maybe un-mendable
All for what?
Cause I felt something positive towards you
Because something I can't control
Drew me towards you
Something I can't control
Makes me see in you
Someone truly special
I dunno if we can even be truly honest with each other
If we were, you'd see a glimmer of hope and wonder that remains in me
I feel only 90% honest when I'm around you
Cause if I was honest to myself
All I would wanna do is hold you and be with you
Your smile and eyes work wonders on me
Your personality persuades me
I guess what I'm trying to say is
Don't you feel that way?
The way I do
I can never call you, IM you, email you, myspace you, etc.
Because I feel everything I do may be interpreted by you
That I like you
If I comment or talk to you for too long you might feel I like you
If I call or email you too often
You might feel like I like you again
So everytime I'm with you
I'm always holding back
I'm 90% honest because
In the back of my mind
I know I can never be too friendly with you
Cause if I were
You might perceive it as me liking you again
And were you to perceive it as that
I know our friendship would crumble yet again
I know this time it may be un-reparable
I know if you were to feel as if I liked you again
You might go away for the last time
Cause when it comes down to it
That's what matters the most
Your friendship
Whether we're friends/acquaintances/lovers, etc.
For some reason
Your presence in my life means the world to me
For that, I can never be 100% honest around you
Hopefully you understand
