Understand me

This comes from my heart,
deep down within my soul,
the part where i am empty,
a life which is not whole.

My dedicated affection,
is never put to ease,
i carry on each day,
thoughts constantly-to please.

My own happiness i lack,
and it lurks within my tears,
I'm afraid of how i feel,
from heartache in past years.

I am now an it,
I'm nothing special at all,
i cannot focus properly,
falling down upon the wall.

My life has no meaning,
every reason i portray a lie,
every time i lay in bed,
i wish myself to die.