Im 18 years old had had quite a hard life.sometimes i sit down and i really try to think the way i was when i was a kid.Had one dream which one day i will make come true.But for now ill write about my life convince people im happy and dont need no help.When really im feeling down and wish i wasnt really around.Sometimes i cry for no reason why.I get angry and i want to scream my mum dont notice as ive always put on a false smile.People see me as happy and a real outgoing girl.No one sees the tears i hide the way i wanna curl up and sometimes just die ill smoke the odd spliff so i dnt think no more id drop the odd pill so i could sit on cloud nine.But theres no need of that cause that aint a life doing drugs just make it worse.Ill cut my arm but i dnt feel the pain i could stick it in deep and just watch the blood.Im trying quite hard to keep it all in but i can feel in coming out some day soon. I need to talk but theres no one there i need to cry but my tears have gone dry i need to love so i feel warm again i need to feel wanted to get rid of the pain.But theres no one there anymore they all given up and left me in dispair.If one day i go and i mean for good tell my mum shes my life and i just couldnt live...... i love you mum you are my life but tonight god picked me to go sit up above ill wait for you until its your turn and when i see you ill give you a big hug night mum.
