I will change

I love my mother so very much,
i care about her more than all else,
she is the reason i am alive,
but she doesn't care for me her only daughter.

she's always shouting and telling me off,
always making sure I'm not happy,
Christmas birthdays and even new year,
she's the reason i cry, cry ,cry.

today for example i wanted a cake,
because i changed my mind she had a go at me,
now she's not talking to me again,
making me cry while writing this.

before things used to be so perfect,
she was my mother and my best friend,
my old poems can tell you the way it was,
but now she hates me and this isn't a lie.

i try and be the daughter she wants,
all the top grades only a stars,
i try to be Nice to one all,
and help around the house so much more.

i try and try though its killing my soul,
to be the girl that she wants,
but i cant seem to get it right,
i need to let go of some special things.

I'll soon be the person she wants,
I'll let go of my independence,
I'll let the life leave my body,
I'll let the energy that is me leave and make make me what she wants me to be.

i no that i can't be what i want,
this way at least one will be happy,
from this day onward i shall be,
the broken human being.

i shall live but be without life,
i shall breathe but not feel anything,
i shall talk but let my independence go,
and i shall smile but it shall be without meaning.

I'll do this to make her happy,
but watch as the light leaves my eyes,
and the bounce my walk,
watch as i fall into darkness never to come back to light.