I am Still Here

Fear of being alone brought me back to you. A Friend. A sweet man.
Knowing I wasn't in love with you I Married you anyway.
and I am still here.

I sit now and listen to you breath , late into the night. Wishing I could undo somethings. Wanting so much to get up and walk out the door.
But I am still here.

We have a little girl, with your blue eyes and my everything. She is the closet thing to heaven, perfect in every way.
I am still here.

Knowing I could let it all go, just by telling you I am in love with him. Fearing hurting you, but dying inside everyday.
But I am still here.

Longing to be free, desiring his touch, dreaming of his kiss, but falling a sleep next to you. Listening to you tell me you love me and cringing at the sound of it.
And yet I am still here.

I can't undo these massive things I have set in motion. I have to live with mistakes I have made. Looking at my little girl, how can this marriage be called a mistake?

The thing I wonder most is, WHY
am I still here?