The repitition was okay, although in the future I'd try to repeat phrases and words that aren't particularly common, the common ones get enough airtime as it is. My big critique on this poem is the rhythm, or relative lack thereof. I'd highly consider a rhythm scheme for the syllables, since this poem never was meant to rhyme. It was a good poem emotion-wise, but form wise it can be improved.

There were times in this poem where you rhymed, and others you didn't. You should try to keep that constant. A good poem though, really sad.

I would like to see you write something other than dark or sad poetry.

WOW im speach less gurly but WOW nice

Wow, that was really good. Are all your poems intense like that? This one is really good.

Omfg!i really love that one!thats how i feel...i dont wanna die but i still cut.but i do have friends that care cuz they are scared thats whats gunna happen to me...die by mistake cut of cutting too deep.i really like it!plz comment back on some of my poems.thanks much
:~:heidi:~:

I can tell by reading your poems, that you have a hard time in life. I went through all that, too. But, keep your head up because everything will get better. (if all of this is true, of course) If you ever need to talk, just pm me sometime.

This poem shows a lot of pain. You showed emotions directly, which is good. I thought it was a good poem. Nice job hun.

>black&&blue