Suicidal Dream

I always thought dreams were happy.
dreams were the place where anybody could get away from everything
finally feel no pain.
but now instead of dreams i have nightmares.
knifes, ropes, guns
every harmful weapon known,
all for one reason
to kill
my wrists are bleeding,
rope around my neck,
bullet through my heart,
just another one of my "nightmares"
but when i finally woke up
i realized it wasn't a dream
i was dead.