Bleed

As i lay here day by day
I feel the pain, like i etched in my leg
The pain is there
Because your not there to care
Blood flows down my wrist
And i don't even winch
He tells me not to cut
But lately it seems like a must
Now i must hide these marks from him
And pretend like nothings wrong, like the way I've been
Quite honestly
I almost need to see myself bleed
Just so i can tell if I'm alive
Because i feel like I'm dying inside
When I'm with him I'm actually happy
I can lay there and not feel crappy
Why can't i just stay with him?
Mother, me you must forgive
I know I'm not suppose to love this boy
But his charm and his smile i couldn't avoid
Now I'm in love
But why does it feel like into my heart knives are being shoved