What I must do...

Some say lifes better after death
but for me the results will be different
all because I know
that angels wont take me home...

devil\'s own
will take me down
falling farther than before
because Ive sinned in my life
words too harsh to speak or type...

this is why I wont commit
suicide by my knife or blade
So now I say,
suicide isnt my way

Out
of this life, there MUST be something more
something I can do to safe myself
to keep my from Hell\'s full doors

To replenish my name
hold back my soiled soul...
keep it from the devil
and chained in a dark hole...

But...thats how I already feel
so what difference can it make?
if this poor broken girl
has her life selfen-take?

But what makes me feel this?
lost and wondering alone...
that sick deprived feeling
lost down, deep in the bones...

Something made this happen
Only I know what it is...
so if you see my \"good in heart\"
its because of this...

The secret to my grave
the gaping hole withing my heart
the one thing that keeps me together
and the one that tears me apart...

I will repay this depbt
to God that I have made
for thie horrid nightmare
that I live with everyday

this LongLost person I am
is here for no reason in itself
but to me theres something I must do
before I kill myself...

I wont die from a blade
by pills or a gun
the only thing that will kill me
is my secret in the sun

I hold it deep within
and it kills everyday
a little piece of my soul....
whats left of it...... Ill save