Thirty Years No More

I need to see you
to tell you face to face
That is why I've asked you
to join me today in this place

Should we end this now
before it is too late
I can't go on any longer
for my love has turned to hate

What started out as fun
has easily become
A habit more addictive
and I'm smarter now, not dumb

But how do we end
thirty years of our life
All the times of pleasure
now cut me like a knife

Oh, I hear the little whispers
from others when you're around
Can't they see I'm trying
forging ahead, breaking new ground

I'm not welcome at my mother's
and I know it's you to blame
You've got your talons in me
I'm captured in the flame

You fill my days with hazy smoke
and flow amongst my veins
To part will be a heartache
but I'll free myself from the chains

Where have all the years gone
just what do I have left
You've taken so much from me
another bodily theft

You still invoke urges
though I've suffered your abuse
Can I fix the damage
or just declare a truce

My pulse still races
and my heart beats
But until I ban you
I'll hide beneath the sheets

Your poison is in me
no longer can I control
For you've taken me over
mind, body and soul

The evil prevails
in everything you do
It permeates the space
it's all around you

So why do I cling
onto your silent calls
Where is my strength
to break down the walls

Am I afraid to lose you
and what will take your place
For you've been a mighty crutch
but rarely my saving grace

Today we are wiser
then the days of our youth
When you weren't forbidden
but now you are uncouth

The price I pay to keep you
a hidden part of my life
Doesn't measure up
it isn't worth the strife

Damn, I just can't take it
so I will say adieu
I'll turn from the mirror
break the cigarette in two