Very sad, but well written..my only suggestion again is the same..Try to let your words flow..dont force em..theres no need for it..Let the rhythm take the words dont force it
Great job..and greatly expressed
5/5
~The Broken Man~

I like this poem, well done

I agree w/ u. that it seems as though its not quite finished. but i really did love it. especvially:

Her precious life is sliding through her fingers.
The thoughts of death still linger.
No one to run to; no shoulder to cry on.
There is no soul she can depend upon.

ive been through that again and again. actually i hust always think about it. good job 5/5
pssst; i added u to my favorite authors thing.

This opeice is well written, good flow and structure and great content.