I like this poem. you've got potential. i also love how you keep using God. take care, tab

Against theses watching eyes,

I think you mean these. Other wise I agree with Tabitha when it comes to the fact that you do have potential. *I've read a couple of your poems before this one.*

Hey love, I have had a chance to read several of your poems in the past and I am glad you pointed them out to me so I can read them again. This poem had a lot to say hunni, but I don't know it could use a bit of editing. You asked for good comments, so please don't be angry with me. This line, "against theses watching eyes," kind of stands out because it is so long compared to the other ones. Try taking out the word against, it still get's your point across but in a different way. And a few of the last lines are a bit to long compared to others making them stand out a bit. I know how this poem is kind of line a pray and it has good things to say. Best of luck with it.

-Tainted Mikochan