Unwanted Suicide

Razorblade in hand eyes running red
I think I can’t take this pain any more
I place the blade to my skin drawing blood
I sit crying behind a closed door

I wonder if I’ll be missed
If any one will even notice I’m not there
Probably not; I’ve never had friends
No one has ever been there to care

Everyone hated me at school
I had no where to go
I was all alone
And my head was always hung low

I was ashamed of who I was
And that’s why I’m here
Bleeding behind this closed door
Letting out my one fear

Of always being alone
How can it be that now I’m dying?
There’ll be no more scary thoughts of the knife
And no more tears I’m fed up of crying

I’ll be happy, I hope, now
I’ll never ever have to cry
And I’ll have tons of friends who love me
And there’ll be no more secret plans to die

I hated life with a passion
This is what I’ve always wanted
But why does it feel so hard?
And why does my conscience feel haunted?

Why am I regretting how hard I pushed?
Why am I feeling scared?
I’m going to a better place now
A place where love is always shared

It doesn’t chage how I feel
Knowing that I be loved
Maybe later on here I will
It’s not over yet I don’t want to be shoved

I try crying out
But no sound flows
I look to my arm
And the crimson blood is all that shows

I don’t want to die anymore
I want to stay and live
I wanna’ take and hold
Everything life has to give

Even if it’s all just pain
At least I’ll know
That I never gave up
But it doesn’t look good the blood won’t cease to flow

I’m feeling drowsy now
I’m starting to feel numb
Why did I do this?
Why was I so goddamn dumb?!

Okay this is it
I’m starting tired
My eyes are falling this is my time to go
This was my life and now I’m fired

Not my best, I know, but I thought I'd post it anyway...I'd really like to know what you all think.