ON that Thursday night,
while you walked up the stairs,
walking to the highest floor,
silently you said your last prayer.
You left this earth without any warning,
not letting us in on your pain,
instead you kept it to yourself,
you took the jump; tear stained.
SOMEWHERE in my dreams,
i see you looking around,
hoping your friends and family were alright,
but instead, you see them breaking down.
the biggest regret that you've ever made,
cant be taken back,
the heavy burden and guilt you feel,
the pain you cannot hack.
YOU have always been there
since the day i turned six,
at my party, when i first met you,
you carried Archie comics.
ever since that day,
we became really good friends,
we shared laughter, joy and love,
i never thought this is how it would've end.
YOU were my first real friend,
and I'll never forget that day,
I'm sorry i did not realize,
i took you for granted until you past away.
I'm sorry i did not let you know
that you were faithful, true and great.
now that i want to tell you so,
i realize that its too late.
I regretted not being there,
to listen as you cried,
now that you are gone,
a part of me, too, has died.
i regretted not telling you,
that i cared about you heaps,
i wish i could reverse back time,
the hurt; it cuts so deep.
WHEN i had no friends,
you said you'll be my first,
we had a special bond,
like it was all rehearsed.
we were as close like family,
loving, caring and as happy as can be,
nothing could stop us,
i knew you were the friend for me.
SINCE that day you left,
it hasn't felt quite right,
like a part of me was missing
the heartaches, i cannot fight.
i still wonder every night,
what you felt inside,
before you stepped off the edge,
was it to end the tears that was left uncried?
WAS i such a bad of a friend,
that you could not share your fears,
but instead you took them out on yourself,
and before God you appeared?
we promised to share our everything,
the good and the bad,
I'm sorry i didn't take time to comfort you,
the times you told me you were sad.
NEVER did it occur to me,
that you will just end your life,
after all that we went through,
did i add on extra strife?
no matter how sorry i am,
what's happen is all in the past.
not meaning I'll forget your smile,
for true friendship will always last.
I know you're in a better place,
the way of life you've always had in your dreams,
without any struggle and strife,
without tears, pain and screams.
though you are no longer present,
the memories will be in my heart.
no matter where you are today,
our souls will never part.
*this one is one of my most emotional poem as it was written, dedicated for my first friend that i ever had and i miss him till death today, but knowing that hes up there and loving life there, i get through each day.
