Unable to remember
As I look at that photograph
The times we shared, that special laugh.
Cant remember the warmth as you held me,
Nor the sweet sound of your voice
As you whispered me to sleep at three.
You are my father,
Yet you arent.
Unable to remember
Only able to listen
To the stories that everyone tells
I watch in longing
As tears start the seditious swells.
How can I call you father,
When Ive known you as long as some friends?
How can you call me daughter,
When I had acted as a fiend?
I sleep at night,
Wrapped safely in the home you built for me.
For us.
And then youre there, right next to me.
But just as I reach out to touch you,
I wake from the dream.
You left so suddenly,
And yet so slowly.
You left my mind in psychological ruins
And yet, everything is clear.
You were once walking jovially around
Your lifes heat radiated so near.
And then one day, you stopped.
Stopped fighting.
How does it feel,
When youre only nine,
To wake up and hear,
Your mother crying.
Your brothers in tears.
You ask,
Mommy, where is daddy
And then the dreaded answer,
'Daddy is in heaven, dear.
DEDICATED TO: DONALD E. VANCLEAVE- WHO DIED OF COLON CANCER. BELOVED HUSBAND, BELOVED FATHER.
MARCH 2, 1956-JANUARY 8, 2002
