Fallen out of touch

I feel as if i have fallen
fallen out of life
fallout out of reality
but the truth is that i have really lost it i always said one time if i get mad enought i was gonna cut hard and fast well sure thing i bet you could tell what happend but the thing i am most afraid of is telling my family that i have a promblem i know that i have a problem i know i need help but i am just so afraid of how they gonna react it scares the hell out of me also to death so i fear when that day i will come for i dont think i will get ready i wish they that only knww i wish that they only could turly see that i need help also me not telling that i do but the thing is that i could tell anyone else that i need help but no my family i mean it my own blood what the hell is a matter with me this is gonna be a long hard road but this one thing i know for sure is that the when i am ready to tell my family that i have nothing to loose and everything to gain but what the hell is stoping me its the fear w/ lies w/in everyone i am so sacred god please help me................