Hmm, I like the raw emotion in it. But the actual words and stanza's didn't flow just right. Read it aloud to yourself and try to work out the things that just don't quite fit into it. I'm giving it a 4 out of 5 because i liked the raw energy and the idea of it. With some work it could easily be a five.

Good luck on future writings!

-Tony

Aww hun that was reallt sad, xox Rach

I love this poem. i feel the same way about my dad. keep it up! :)

Omg thats sad
im sorry if it ture
but i really like it
u might want to check the 2nd paraghraph 2nd line
just a segjestion
great job
5/5

I really enjoyed reading this it was really good...nice job...
Emma 5/5

This is a really sad poem, if its true I hope things get better for you. But you should check out the second stanza (I think thats what they're called) it kinda made me confused, but overall it was good.

Very expressive honest cry for help.
I am moved

Okay....there's emotional play and well some overall intense moments within this piece. A little bit of something wrong with the second stanza. Something about one of those lines kinda throws me off. But yeah this was really something cool.
~Faith-less