Bulimia..i'm sorry

by Nelle   Feb 27, 2006


Well, you found out i was bulimic
and you want me to get committed
but really what for?
what will that solve?
you getting mad at me
you not talking to me
you trying to get me in trouble
really what is that solving?
NOTHING....as a matter of fact
it is making me worse!!
i don't know what is going through your head
i don't know if you are scared
or if you are just severely mad at me
you won't even talk to me...
i wish i knew what to say to you..
i wish i knew how to react around you...
this isn't something i can just stop
I'm really truly very sorry that i have hurt you
I'm sorry i have let this take me over
I'm sorry i have turned to this b/c i didn't know any better
Mom, I'm more sorry then you will ever know
but being bulimic isn't something that i love...
i am obsessed with it and i can't help it
i have to watch what i eat, if i even eat at all
i have been through phases in the past years where i have done this on and off
i used to could stop on my own
but, now i can't it has taken over me
i can't help myself
i tried that and i ended up hurting even more
i am so confused...
i don't know what to tell myself to do
i don't know how to help myself...
i have a disease and i can't help it
i don't know what you want me to do...i really don't
But i really really am sorry!!
Mom...I'm really sorry...

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Tainted Beauty

    Aww Nelle! I'm so sorry to hear about this, bulimia is really hard to deal with, i know, but we can get through it, together. You'll be alright sweetie, i love you

  • 18 years ago

    by dee

    You obviously dont know who i am or anything about me. but ive been in the same sort of situation although now i dont purge this time last year i did. i know it doesnt solve anything and over time you will too. theres no need to put ur body in pain. at times i think about it and how good yet bad i felt and try holding back. its something thatll always be there. but its the ways you deal with it and focus your pain and frustration into different things that will help you over come it.. if that makes any sense. either way your poem was really good.. it helps getting your feelings out in any way possible.. keep at it
    dee

  • 18 years ago

    by I.Dont.Own.Emotion.I.RENT.

    Wow hun this poem is really really good. i love it! hope everything gets better for you! keep up the amazing work! lyl~lex

  • 18 years ago

    by Krisanta

    Nelle... I know i will never really understand what your going through but i hope you know that i am always here for you please dont forget that. I loVe you!! Your my girl for Life! HoLLa at ya girl!!

  • 18 years ago

    by cali

    I like ur poem. im bulimic too but no one knows.

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