Silent Symphony

by Mark   Feb 27, 2006


This symphony is so silent it can't be heard
But maybe if you look close enough you can see whats being done
this orchestra is amazing filled with mixtures of emotions and dreams
what you thought was music isn't what it seems
this symphony is all based on hope,death,life, and reasons
This scene is more beautiful then any season
Make sure to pay attention to the instruments of this symphony
The instruments are not solid and can't be touched
Once you understand whats being done you'll notice what you've missed so much
Only felt with the heart and mind
Make sure you are not following this orchestra blind
Because in the end this will have a powerful effect
Something you would never expect
You'll be in so much awe you'll want to stare at the stars forever
Trying to count how many there are but you've stoppped because you've fallen asleep.
What did you dream? Or did you only notice that you have just awaken?
Do you live your life in symphony?

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Kaylee

    I think you should cut the lines down and maybe reorganize them so they don't run on two lines for one thought (sentence)

    Otherwise beautiful.

  • 18 years ago

    by lost_laureate

    "Do you live your life in symphony? " Stunning last line, I like the imagery you were builiding up...not so sure about the structure perhaps could do with some tidying up here and there and there was a lil typo "stoppped" or was that for effect?

    Nice stuff....
    [lostlaureate - come find me]

  • 18 years ago

    by tabitha

    Great poem. keep up the good work.

  • 18 years ago

    by N J Thornton

    Firstly, I love the title.
    I think this is quite a descriptive write, and it certainly uses some original ideas.
    On the second line it should be "what's."
    I'm thinking how to give you the best possible critique that you could actually learn something from...so please excuse me if this comment is somewhat disorganised.
    You use wonderful descriptions, however the poem needs tightening up, because as it stands it seems very wordy. It may help if you shortened the lines or split them up to improve the flow.
    The use of "creative" words can boost a poem and allow the reader to be shown what's in the poem, rather than be told, and I think for a poem like this, using more visual words could improve the overall quality dramatically.
    I did very much enjoy this poem, and with a bit of tweeking it could be a fantastic write that you should be proud of.
    Keep writing.

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