Hobby

All strength relied on me,
I can't handle this alone.
Turning ill just thinking of it,
I can't lose you.

Everytime I hear that word,
You know what it is; it makes me sick.
I know it's not good,
I know it's a hobby; you can't stop.

An addiction.
An uncontrollable disease.
A whisk of air,
That sometimes seems wasted by the actions.

Alone, I try to decipher,
The clues to why.

Why I can't support you enough,
Why I can't justify it's you.
Why I can't let go.
Why I can't stop worrying.

I can't handle this without support,
But I take things too seriously.

I know it will end in disaster.
I know I will become evident to this.
I know I will cry my heart out.

I know you will pull through,
Eventually.

I just need to hold your hand.