Hey dear...that brought a tear to my eye...i know nothing I can say will take awat any of the pain, but I wish it did...Stay strong, I'm thinking of you during these tough times...-xxx-

Good peice, and you're poetry does have alot of emotion, if you want to capture the reader and take them on a emotional rollarcoaster with vivid imagery, try using descriptive words, and really try and feel the poem out, you have to write about what you feel if you want it to come from the heart..