Dear Collection Agency,
It has come to my attention
that you can become irritating.
Your form letters are much appreciated
as I have a burn barrel
and a wood stove.
Could you make the letters longer
because my wood supply is getting low?
I admire you persistence in being an ass
and the lengths you will go to
to really piss me off.
I will continue to ignore you
because I don't have money to pay you.
You will find that you can't get blood
out of a turnip.
Signed sincerely, Turnip.
