Helplessness

You know I cant stand this helplessness
this feeling
I cant control myself

its so hard to know what I know
knowing you lie
knowing that in fact
you will hurt me

maybe, you do feel as you do
you may love me
want me
need me

I know you better though
cause I know myself
we are two in a billion
so close, yet why is it I cant see?

my mind knows better
I don't want to go
I cant bear to feel this way
so uncertain

but my heart
your heart
it pulls
and I cant break away

you could shatter my heart a million times
but yet still somehow
I would manage to love you so
even if only with all the broken pieces

when you cry
you fall
I come running
though I know you would never do the same for me

but still
I must persevere
for if this is what it takes to set you free
somehow I feel it must be worth it

I made a promise to help you
and
even if it kills me
I cannot let myself fail

for you and I
we are one in the same
though I still cant see how it is
that you truly feel about me

about me
about us
love
or is it all just part of your game

I do know better
but you hold more power over me
and I am your faithful servant
eternally yours

but still,
you know I cant stand this helplessness
this feeling
I cant control myself

Copyright©2006 Amanda Hope Indelicato