Died for love....or a fanasty?

Silent tears
i now refuse to cry
the quiet urge
that i want to die

how do people not see?
I made myself out to be strong
they believed me
but they're all wrong

they dint know i fear my life
end the misery
with a touch of a knife
the pain will end

so forgive me please
for the lies i told
forget me please
i dint fit the mold

so take away the pictures
running through my head
please dint cry a tear
when u find out that I'm dead

you pretended to love me
you said that you care
you promise to stay
and always be there

so now i take this knife
as a prayer
i couldn't believe it
when i saw u with her

so be with that girl
that isn't me
i can stay here
and drown in my misery

i sound like such a pessimist
and that just isn't me
i never thought like this
but ruined my fantasy

you make me believe
i was just a toy
but now i realize
no u were just a boy

so take my heart
i really dint care
throw it away
you broke it its really not fair

leave me here
to wonder why
ill leave you a note
before i die