U make my heart beat

Without u babe, I'm alone.. it is so dreadful..I'm sad but u left anyways.. i know u didn't care when u committed suicide..u wouldn't of died if u thought of me.. my pain i have i guess u didn't care.. but i am worth nothing.. i am just a disgrace.. i do not have faith in myself.. i seldom do..my world has stopped spinning.. i have no where to go.. i guess i just have to say goodbye..to all of u.. i cant stay here with this pain inside.. missing u when u never cared to see..any of the tears i ever shed for u.. and what tears u never shed for me... I'm missing u still even when u didn't care.. why did u say u loved me when u left me alone.. i am sad now.... my soul is now disowned.. by someone called u.. that took my everything away.. my happiness when u said goodbye.. i taste the tears running down my face.. my crying eyes will no longer be hidden by my fake happiness.. you look to see me like this all the time..my soul screaming.. my heart bleeding.. my mind composing what is about to happen.. such a huge change to this unwanted life... I'm demeaning all that i want to say to you.. but i cant see your beautiful face.. this dismay of knowing not what to do... concentrating on my mistakes that come back to get me now.. this is all so very regrettable.. i am no longer potent on things i need to accomplish.. Misunderstanding of my heart.. this anger that will ambush me.. my heart torn, and my soul is locked.. its like you have the key to my life.. you are my everything..so why did u leave me..wasn't I your one and only? Crying shows nothing… only that your almost dieing.. that means nothing to me..i am just another shadow that isnt here to stay… we would come together and be ourselves.. what you all see is what I am trying to hide… this fakeness, i am all a big lie.. I am here, my dead soul and me… what you can see is I have me and my self lies…the lie of life in matter.. I am not true to myself.. I will never be.. what is left to my own discretion... nothing but my dead soul..............no one left to comfort me... to tell me im pretty and im all they need... they were my world... theres now nothing left...to make me whole... or just plain me...i want to die but everyone says i mean so much to them.. i believe their fakeness..i continue to believe these lies... they say there my friends...but how can i know when they dont even talk true...i want to end it all but i always think about what is best for everyone.. i dont want people to cry for me... i just want to leave unnoticed, and secretly deceived..let no body care about my pain...i will leave this place... not thinking about starting over or what will happen next... i will slice my wrists and tare my throat... any love i will look past... hate i can only see...so wherever i am, just dont think of me...