Gone or Not

When I awaken,
The tears fall down,
Is he gone or not?
Have my dreams played evil tricks?
I don't want to go,
I don't want to stay,
Caught in Limbo,
Never to escape.
My heart is ripped into tiny shreads,
Never to be replaced.
He was my souls everlasting flame.
But has his been extinquished?
My heart has decayed.
I go back.
I listen to music and slit my throat.
If hes gone, I'll meet him soon.