In A Past ... (2)

What's left to love who's left to care
When no one is even ever there
Why should I live Why should I see
The people who are hurting me

I'm lost in this river of blood and pain
Never again to have something to gain
Can't find a way to escape this place
Left in a world Where I can't retrace

Mother of mine why do you beat me so
My blood keeps running but you go and go
Leaving at night to drink away the anger
Come back worse putting me in danger

For years the love will never come
For years I will never know someone
For years, a brat will be how I seem
Until the age of 14

As I grow older from eight to nine
My life isn't good no it isn't fine
My relatives are fighting over me
I just want to leave and be who I should be

Ten to eleven I'm alone all the time
Still not allowed to shed a tear or cry
You beat me for telling you things I feel
But you still expect me to tell you and be real

Finally I'm 14 and I retaliate
You pushed me to far and it is way to late
Maybe a sword to your throat will give you what I mean
Or maybe you will still be obscene

Your life should end, your life should be over
Because of this crap, I don't have a cover
I'm lucky to have my grandma because she's there
At least I know that she actually does care

I live in a new place, I'm happier too
Don't have to live with the drugs that you do
I've got me a boyfriend, Who's there for me
I guess that's something between him and me

You're out of the picture and that is your fault
Not mine and not grandma's it's not you we taunt
I am here and I'm happier now
I hate you and love you, I just don't know how

I hope that one day you can understand
That I just don't want to be with you and your man
I've got my own life, I can mess it up alone
So just to let you know, I'm never coming home