That's really sad, I didn't like the peoms, but it was well written...

This is a very depressing poem, I'm guessing you are writting with the idea that committing suicide equals hell? I like how you've showed this idea, usually poems on suicide conclude with the deceased being happy in heaven but I like how you bring to light the other viewpoint. I also like how you didn't feel the need to make it sound as if everything is okay in the end because obviously it doesn't always happen that way! I also like how you incorporated (sp? lol) other ideas into this, such as everyone coming to the funeral despite not really knowing person who has died on the inside. I think you should add a bit more punctuation to make it read easier. :)