Pushed You Too Far

My heart is locked up,
And you hold the key.
The only one alive,
Who is able to set me free.

So why do I keep pushing,
Pushing you so far away?
When deep in my heart,
I know I want you to stay.

I fear I have pushed too far,
As I dreaded, you are gone.
Now what am I to do?
Everything is going wrong.

I need you by my side,
Goddamn I need you in my life.
You helped me sort through,
All my hidden pain and strife.

You sweeped me off my feet,
Now how can I stand?
You were my backbone,
Don't you understand?

I'm crumbling under the pressure,
Suffocating from my sins.
I should never of let you see,
The person that hides within.

But it's too late now,
You've seen me raw and plain.
No make up, smile or mask,
Used to hide the pain.

You weren't scared,
You didn't run away.
Rather you held me closer,
And promised me better days.

I'll never find that again,
I don't deserve you.
I can't live without you in my life,
But I can't tell you what's true.

*i lost him because I'm the indecisive, manipulative person i am..argh. The worst thing is...i told him he'd be happier without me. . . and he is.