If I could have loved you
I would have
If I could have been with you
I would have
But most of all
If it was up to me
When I had you
I would have kept you
But for some reason
There was a stronger force at work
Something that kept me from feeling
The way I wanted to feel
I wanted to show you I cared
I wanted to think I was special once again
I wanted to look in your eyes
And see a person to stand by my side
But it was not granted
My wishes stay just wishes
And all my dreams became nightmares
Then my world of sleep became reality
I pushed you away
Leaving my self alone once more
Wishing there was some one to hold
Someone to share long talks with
But most of all to have someone to wake up for
But for me this will never be
My life is not meant to have rainbows in it
I meant to be alone till my penance is paid
I am not worth caring for or loving for
This has been proven with nights of regret
But one day it will all end
My only wish now is let it be soon
Weather it be in chance or in death
Let it happen soon
For a life with out anyone
Anyone at all
Is too hard to live
Much too hard for this weakened soul
