Monster (3-3-06)

No one knows what I go through
No one knows my pain
No one bothers to ask
even though I can't explain...
No one knows the truth
everyone sees at face value
No one really gets "it"
if only you all knew...
my mother is a monster
she's out of control
she continues to tear at me
even though I'm no longer whole.
I'm truly afraid
who knows what she'll do
I asked her if she loved me
and she said "I have to love you"
I don't want to live like this
but I don't have a choice
she's taking away my life
she's taken away my voice.
I don't dare share with anyone
what's really going on
because even if they could do something
the monster in my mom would temporarily be gone.
And then when we're alone again
the monster will come back
no sweetness there
all I can do is pre-pare for the attack.
In the end I'm always alone
with nothing to do but wait
So I continue ro wait until it's too much
-and then I'll suffocate.