Sometimes late at night I sit in my bed and think
I think why do I do this to myself, why do I drink
I haven't been doing this all my life, I've just started
This habit has destroyed my family, we've all parted
Sometimes I close my eyes tight trying to get away from the fears
The fear of my past coming back to me and leaving me in tears
But I don't ever cry, it's a sign of weakness in my eyes
I've lost my real family and I never got to say my goodbyes
Sometimes I let myself get carried away, that's when I drink
Drinking is also a weakness; it's just another way to sink
And yet I still do it to get away from the thoughts in my head
I hate being drunk I'm afraid of the things I might have said
Sometimes I want to reveal my past life but I'm too afraid to
I want to scream it but I quickly freeze up like I have the flu
I've felt pain like no other; I'm not sure how I deal with it
I turn my sadness into madness and throw a big fit
Sometimes it's my intentions to hurt people because I'm mad
I don't hurt them physically; I just scream at them and make them sad
I wish I was a different person so I wouldn't be afraid to be me
I wish people would give me and chance and wait and see
Sometimes I push people away, the ones I need most
I don't know why I do it; I just lean back and say "their toast."
But usually their the one who could teach me to express myself
Their the ones who care most about me and my health
Sometimes I don't think I can make it through this war
The war going on inside me, it doesn't get me very far
I have two decisions and somehow I always chose the wrong one
I often want to end this life, sometimes I want it done
Sometimes I know there are people who are looking after me
I don't have to look for them; I don't have to search for them in a sea
There right there and front of me and I wish I could say how sorry I feel
But would they forgive me, I hate how I keep things under a seal
Sometime I'm going to show the world who I can really be
I'm going to show the world the strong person living inside of me
The one with no fears to keep her from sleeping when it rains
I'll be a happier person because I'll no longer feel these pains
