Another night locking myself in my room,
with my telephone beside me,
waiting for the ring as i slowly fall to my doom,
i guess for you to be my best friend is not what you were meant to be.
Reaching my arm under my bed,
pulling out the blood soaked towel and knife,
i poke the end into my skin enough to break it and than start to carve a line that will go deep enough to spill out some red,
every night the same routine but if i just had enough in me to actually end my life.
I close my eyes,
and push the knife in deeper,
i guess this is the way that i choose to die,
death enfolds around me and as they say "don't fear the reaper".
My veins go ice cold and my life seeps out,
my body goes weak and limp,
i fall to the ground and feel like it is finally happening but i am still so full of doubt,
for so long i have wanted to take my life but yet deep down i am so afraid...i just feel like such a wimp.
I lay there and feel my death enfold itself around my lifeless body,
a tear drips out and i realize i am crying the tears of blood,
i just need to be saved by somebody,
but now it is too late...it has happened and the blood stops and cases itself into a thick liquid as if it is some kind of mud.
My vision fades away,
as i drift off into a new and better world,
I finally meet jesus face to face...but don't you worry i will watch down on you and make sure you are alright from day to day,
i feel so alive in my new home and back at my old one....they open the door to find a puddle of blood and inside of it i am curled.
