Thoughts of a lost teen

Sometimes I wonder if he really does want me,
I'm blinded by hate, i cannot see.

sometimes I wonder if my friends just want me to go,
I'm surrounded by friends but i feel do alone.

sometimes I wonder why i don’t just die,
it's too hard, I'm weak and I'm tired.

sometimes I wonder why i don't go all the way,
it would finally mean that i wouldn't have to live one more day.

sometimes I wonder why i don't "accidentally" cut too deep
it would put me forever into a deep sleep.

sometimes I wonder if hard work really pays off,
i don't think it does so i think I'll just stop.

sometimes I wonder why i get caught in your lies,
i don't think you can hear my painful cries.

sometimes I wonder why I'm still here,
I'm trapped and surrounded by all my fears.

sometimes I wonder why i try to impress
i always try, but fail, it makes me depressed.

sometimes I wonder why i cry these tears,
in running massacre there's no beauty.