Can\'t take the pain

So many people look up to me
Why me?
What did I do that is so incredible?
All I am doing is trying to live my life
With all the troubles, problems I go through
Best friends
Break ups
Parents
Friends
School
Can't handle it all
That blade is calling my name
Its wants to be on my wrist so badly
The thoughts go through my mind
I give in, I dont want to but I do anyway
I hope to see blood, pray that nothing too bad happens
Wishing as I put the blade on my skin
That the person that could stop me was here
But hes not, the only person that can stop me
I figure what he doedoesn'tt know wont hurt him
But you cant keep anything from him
So it accidentally spills
Hes kind of mad but is there for me
He wants to be here so badly to just help me
But he cant, he lives to far away
He wishes I would stop
Ever cut that I release on my arm is a tear in his eye
A tare in his heart
He wants me to stop so badly but he cant make me stop
I try so hard but the blade just keeps calling my name
So I just keep giving in
Its getting so hard
Keeping it from mom and dad
Everyone who I just want to tell
But Im afraid of the end result
Some know, theyre in a way mad but are there for me
They hope I stop to
With time I will
But not now
I cant stop dead cold right now
Im not ready
All I can do is wait
And pray it all stops soon
Im sick of being in pain