I didn't think I'd cry
If me and him ended up breaking up
But I guess I was so wrong
As I'm remembering our first `sup
Every time I see him
I try and say hi
But he always walks away
As if to say good-bye
Yet, sometimes he comes up to me
And tells me hello
While putting his arms around me
Making me unwilling to let go
All the time he walks me by
The memories come back to me
Then I always realize
The lies that I didn't see
I remember the times he would hold me,
And wonder if I was cold
Back when he used to give a s h i t,
When I had someone to hold
I remember when he tried to kiss me
When we were in Chinatown
Remembering that day...
I always end up breaking down
I want to cry whenever I hear his name
I don't have a choice
I'm always reminded of what we had
Whenever I hear his voice
He rarely says hi anymore
Even though he claims he does
I don't believe what he says
I don't know why, just because
The way his touch feels
It sends a tingle down my spine
Makes me wonder why
And wish that he was still mine
Now I wish he took that kiss
Then maybe we'd still be together
I want him back so bad now
Want to be with him forever
The way he looks at me
It looks like he still feels the same
But how can he when he doesn't speak to me
Or ever speak my name?
Is it true when my friends said
That he smiled when my name was mentioned?
Is it true that he still likes me?
I can't take this suspension.
My heart began to heal again
And once more, it fell apart again all over
I wish I could forget about him
And stop looking over my shoulder
The "Love" that we had...
Was it even real?
Did I mean anything to him?
And how did he really feel?
Now that I think back
He never did say, "I like you."
Just called me the girl he loved
And spelled love wrong in I love you.
The pain that I feel right now
What does it all mean?
Why do I smile when he speaks
And cry the tears unseen?
Does this all mean I'm still in love
With the boy that scarred me so deep?
Does it mean I still feel something
For the one, who one promise he couldn't keep?
I miss him, really I do
But I don't understand why
When all he's been able to do anymore
Is cause me to begin to cry
For hours I've laid in bed
Staring at the ceiling late at night
Continuing to wonder
If what he did was right.
Now I sit here crying, questioning
Wondering if he was my angel from above
And did we really have something real?
Were those feelings really "love?"
And did he not want to let me go
When he would hold me as he would?
And did he mean it when he said "I love you."
When he would try to kiss me if he could?
Also, what do I really feel for him?
Is THIS love for real?
Should I follow my heart or my mind?
And how do I REALLY feel?
[c] 2O05
