I HAD FALLEN FOR THE MAN THAT WOULD MAKE MY HEART QUESTION ITSELF. LIES BUILT UPON SECRETS, PAIN CAUSED FROM HURT AND LOVE REPLACED BY TEARS. LYING AT NIGHT ALONE, THOUGHTS RUNNING THRU MY HEAD. THREE YEARS OF NOTHING BY LIES, A WASTED HEART AND A DYING SOUL. STILL I CONTINUED TO RUN BACK. HIS HANDS ON MY BODY, FEELING MY EVERY CURVE, GAVE ME A FEELING OF SATISFACTION. A FEELING THAT I WAS ATTRACTIVE AND SOMEONE LOVED ME. WHEN HIS EYES LOOK IN MINE, THEY SLIP AWAY TO LOOK AT THE YOUNG WOMEN BEFORE HIM. I'D MELT AWAY IN HIS TOUCH. EVER SO GENTLE WAS HE WITH ME WHEN HIS BODY GILDED WITH MINE. SOFT LIPS LOCK THEMSELVES ON ME AND MOVE DOWN MY BODY, MY TOES CURLING, MY HANDS REACHING OUT FOR THE SIDES OF THE BED. MY HEART BEATING EVER SO FAST, AS IF I WERE ABOUT TO FADE AWAY. HE PLACED HIS LOWER BODY IN MINE AND SHOWED A WORLD BEYOND THE IMAGE I ALREADY HAD. SEX WAS JUST A COVER UP FOR THE PAIN, ANGUISH AND HURT. IF IT WAS TAKEN, THERE WOULD BE NO ME NO YOU, NO MORE US. IT WAS THE BOND THAT KEPT US FOOLING EVERYONE. NOT ITS ALL GONE, ALL TORN APART. I'VE QUESTIONED MYSELF TIME AND TIME AGAIN. WHAT IF I COULD HAVE THE JOY THE SEX AND THE HAPPINESS WITHOUT THE PAIN? WHAT IF HE COULD FIX MY ALREADY BROKEN HEART.I NO LONER QUESTION MYSELF ABOUT WHAT IF OR WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN. I NOW QUESTION MYSELF ON WHY HE LET ME SLIP? WHY HE TOOK MY ALREADY BROKEN HEART AND SHATTERED IT BEFORE ME. I SLEEP SILENTLY NO TEARS FOR YOU TO HEAR HIT THE PILLOW THAT I LYE MY HEAD ON. HE LET ME SLIP, BECAUSE HE WAS AFRAID OF LOVING SOMEONE AND BEING LOVED BACK. AFRAID FOR SOMEONE TO ACCEPT HIM AND ALL HIS MISTAKES. I NOW LIVE MY LIFE FOR WHAT IT IS, NO ONE IS GOING TO BREAK ME AGAIN.
